Love, whether broken or reaching the horizon of happiness, teaches us meaningful lessons about fate and life. All of us need stumbles and breakdowns to grow and become stronger. If you’ve ever fallen in love, consider it an experience and learn life lessons so you can love more “correctly” next time.

1. YOU DON’T OWN ANYONE

In love, the feeling of wanting to possess and control the other person easily happens to many people. However, this is one of the things that makes the two gradually drift apart. Because, in reality, no one can own another person because everyone needs their own life and space. You should talk honestly and openly with your lover about what you want from them and from this relationship as well as listen to their wishes, instead of imposing your own demands on the other person.

2. LOVE IS NOT DEPENDENCE

Love stories in movies or novels make us misunderstand that true love is about living and dying together or only having that person can you live. In fact, “love comes from willingness. Two people truly love each other when they can live without each other but still choose to be together,” – M. Scott Peck.

3. LOVE IS INDEPENDENCE

The idea that love is independence can be an interesting perspective, especially in the context of healthy relationships. Here are some thoughts on how love and independence can intersect:

• Self-Love and Self-Respect: Before being able to love someone else fully, it’s crucial to have a strong sense of self-love and self-respect. This involves knowing your values, boundaries, and priorities in life, which contribute to a healthy sense of independence.
  Mutual Respect for Individuality: In a loving relationship, both partners should respect each other’s independence, autonomy, and individuality. This means allowing each other space for personal growth, hobbies, friendships, and self-expression without feeling threatened or controlled.
• Interdependence vs. Codependence: Healthy relationships thrive on interdependence, where partners support and rely on each other while maintaining their independence and sense of self. On the other hand, codependence can be detrimental, leading to an unhealthy reliance on the relationship for self-worth or identity.
• Communication and Boundaries: Open and honest communication is key to balancing love and independence in a relationship. Discussing needs, expectations, and boundaries allows partners to understand and respect each other’s space and autonomy.
• Shared Goals and Values: While maintaining independence, couples can also cultivate shared goals, values, and experiences. Building a life together involves collaboration and mutual support while honoring each other’s individual journeys.
• Emotional Support and Connection: Love encompasses emotional support, understanding, and connection between partners. It’s important to nurture emotional intimacy while also valuing each other’s independence and personal space.
• Growing Together: Loving relationships involve continuous growth and evolution as individuals and as a couple. Encouraging each other’s personal development, celebrating achievements, and navigating challenges together strengthen the bond while respecting independence.
• Respecting Differences: Recognizing and respecting differences in personalities, interests, and perspectives enriches the relationship. Embracing diversity within the partnership contributes to a dynamic and fulfilling connection.

Ultimately, love and independence can coexist harmoniously in healthy relationships where partners value each other’s autonomy, communicate openly, and support personal growth while nurturing emotional connection and shared experiences. It’s a delicate balance that requires mutual respect, understanding, and a commitment to each other’s well-being and happiness.

4. DON’T MISTAKE PASSION AND TRUE LOVE

Distinguishing between passion and true love is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and making informed decisions about long-term commitments. Here are some key differences to keep in mind:

• Intensity vs. Stability:
  Passion: Passion often involves intense emotions, strong physical attraction, and excitement. It can feel exhilarating and all-consuming but may fluctuate over time.
  True Love: True love is characterized by a deeper emotional connection, trust, respect, and stability. It involves a long-lasting commitment and a sense of security that goes beyond initial infatuation.
• Duration and Consistency:
  Passion: Passionate feelings can be intense but may fade over time, especially if not supported by emotional intimacy, compatibility, and shared values.
  True Love: True love evolves and deepens over time, growing stronger through shared experiences, challenges, and mutual support. It is consistent, enduring, and resilient even during difficult times.
• Focus on Self vs. Mutual Growth:
  Passion: Passionate relationships may focus more on individual desires, physical chemistry, and immediate gratification.
  True Love: True love emphasizes mutual growth, understanding, and partnership. It involves supporting each other’s goals, values, and personal development within the relationship.
• Communication and Connection:
  Passion: Passionate relationships may prioritize physical attraction and excitement over deep emotional connection and communication.
  True Love: True love involves open, honest communication, emotional intimacy, and a strong bond built on trust, respect, and understanding.
• Handling Challenges:
  Passion: Passionate relationships may struggle when faced with conflicts or challenges, as intense emotions can sometimes lead to impulsivity or volatility.
  True Love: True love is tested and strengthened through challenges, as partners work together to resolve conflicts, compromise, and grow as individuals and as a couple.
• Long-Term Compatibility:
  Passion: Passion alone may not sustain a long-term relationship if it lacks compatibility, shared values, and emotional connection.
  True Love: True love thrives on compatibility, shared values, mutual respect, and emotional intimacy, creating a strong foundation for a lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Understanding these differences can help individuals navigate relationships more consciously, distinguishing between fleeting infatuation and genuine, lasting love. It’s essential to prioritize emotional connection, communication, mutual respect, and shared values in cultivating a healthy and fulfilling partnership based on true love.